I've officially become a hermit. I have been living out of my room for days now; sleeping all of the time, watching old movies, neglecting personal hygiene and ignoring phone calls. I shut the people in my life out, because I believe that it will help me to avoid the unavoidable--I leave for India in less than a seven days. I know that on the other end of the phone line there is going to be a person wanting to know, "Can we see each other one last time before you leave?" or "Are you excited?" I feel like telling them matter-of-factly that I'm not falling of the edge of the earth, that I'll be back in three months, and that of course I'm excited. However, because I am also terrified, it's not so easy to do. I feel that people expect me to be excited, so I tell them what they want to hear. In doing that, I hope that I'll convince myself of my excitement. I recognize that this is an amazing opportunity for travel, self-discovery, life experience etc. However, without sounding ungrateful for the gift that I have been given, I am terrified. I've only been abroad once before and am quite unsure of what to expect. I went to Ecuador last summer with the support of The Pangaea Project, another non-profit organization. I don't remember being as anxious then, but many have told me that I was. Not everyday is like this, somedays I am overjoyed to be going to a foreign country for three months. I can't believe that I have been blessed with such an opportunity and I can't wait to take advantage of it. I feel bad for my family most of all, because they are the ones that have to experience this cycle or rollercoaster of emotion on a daily basis. One day I'll tell them that there is nothing that they can do that will get me on the plane to India, and the next I tell them they couldn't stop from going me if they tried. Either way, I know I'll end up in India somehow. After all, this was meant to be. The year that I went to Ecuador was the year that I lost two people that were very important to my family. Just a couple of months before I left the country for the first time, my great aunt died of colon cancer; Six months before that her sister (my other great aunt) died of lung cancer. One was a world traveller and the other managed to bring us all together for holidays. The world traveller was supposed to go to India when she was a member of the Peace corps, but was relocated to the Netherlands where she lived for thirty years of her life. I believe I will carry out her legacy by seeing India and the parts of the world she never got to see. The last time I saw my other great aunt, before I left for Ecuador, she simply asked me to bring her back a souvenir. We never said our goodbyes, there was no need, because I believe she is with me on all of my adventures; pushing me to be a strong, confident young woman. This trip is for me, this trip is for my great aunts, this trip is for youth that don't usually get opportunities like this. India, fall semester, scholarship recipient: Isabel Burri. And so it begins with me.